Prank Rules

So I was never actually at any of the following events, although I wish I was because they are so funny. I've been trying to get some of the details from Bryant, but he hasn't gotten back to me, so I'm just going to forge ahead and do my best, and if I get some things wrong, it's Bryant's fault.

So throughout the Fall Semester, the boys in B23 had this habit of pranking people. Well, not just people, but Rob. And I feel like the pranking was mostly Steven's idea because he's very persuasive, and the pranking mostly stopped after he left.

Poor Rob. Remember him? Sir Robert? Well, let's just say that a lot of things bother him. Like when things aren't clean, or when germs touch his food, or when his food touches the floor. Things like that. Well some of the pranks that involved Rob were when they put a quarter deep in the heart of his peanut butter, so he didn't find it for days. But when he did, he freaked out and I'm fairly certain that he threw the peanut butter away (again, a little hazy on the details. Bryant's fault, I'm telling ya!). A few times, he would open his closet door and Tyler would walk out of it. And they weren't very big closets, and they were locked so it's kinda creepy for Tyler to be walking out of there. Again, there was the freaking out. And there was this other time where Murphy threw this gross, rotten smelling flour on Rob while he was in the shower (I was actually there for that one. So hilarious.) But one prank was so big that it became the reason why the Prank Rules were started.

I don't really remember everything that the Prank Rules said. There were some things about not logging into another's Facebook and other such nonsense. At the end it said something along the lines of: "And if you feel that someone is trying to steal your bath toys, you are free to attack them in your birthday suit." Now when Emily and I saw that line, we were so confused as to why that rule was necessary. Bath toys? Birthday suits? What was going on in this apartment? (We didn't really know them then, so we had no idea what kind of people these were.) So Rob told us the story:

One day, Rob was taking a shower. This happens every day, rest assured. It's just that this particular day, Tyler had to clean the bathroom for his cleaning checks. So Tyler is cleaning the bathroom while Rob is showering, with no intention of pranking him whatsoever. He gets to the bathtub that Rob is showering in and moves Rob shampoo and conditioner out of the way to clean where they were (although I question Tyler's methods of cleaning, I don't doubt his innocence). Rob, thinking that Tyler is taking them away as some sort of prank, lunges out at Tyler to stop him AND SLIPS. Big uh oh. Now do you remember how big Rob is? About 6'3" and broad shouldered. Not as slim as Tyler. So Rob slips OUT OF THE BATHTUB onto Tyler! Tyler scrambles out from under Rob and runs screaming (like a little girl according to Rob) down the hallway into the kitchen, freaking out about what had just happened (which is quite reasonable. I mean, Rob did just fall on top of him!)

And so this incident is why the guys are free to attack others in their birthday suits--but only if their bath toys are being threatened!

A new spin on an old story

Welp, I've been added to the blog, which makes all of my wildest dreams come true. Or something like that. My name is Monica. You may know me, you may not. I was that one girl in the background all the time:

(That's my knee)

I also spent a lot of time in good ole B23, so while that doesn't make me an expert on them, it makes me the next best thing: a good friend.

So why have I been added? Let's just say that there's a whole world of hilarity that we haven't even touched yet. There are so many stories that need to be preserved for future generations. So feel free to keep reading our B23 Short Stories. They will mostly be about these boys you know and love (or don't know, but still love). Bryant and I will also be updating y'all on how everyone is doing on their missions, as well as their current addresses. This will become more relevant as the time goes on and they all leave for the MTC (MTC entrance dates- Murph: June 6; Brett: June 20; Mike: July 5; and Rob: August 22; Tyler is already at the MTC and he is doing so well! Man, they grow up so fast!)

Ok, so I'm just gonna kick this right off with the retelling of a timeless tale: Throw it away!

There once was a time where Sir Robert brought over a Lady Friend on a date to the kitchen, while we were all there. Needless to say, there were some awkward moments, but we pushed through them! However, there was one thing that we couldn't push through: the fact that both Sir Robert and said Lady Friend do not appreciate the finer points in life. Namely, good food. Miss Lady Friend picked up a box of Bryant's Vegetable Crackers. Vegetable crackers are good for you, right? I mean, they're not cookies or anything like that. Well, Miss Lady Friend started reading off of the ingredients on the back of Bryant's innocent box of Vegetable Crackers, and when she reached "high fructose corn syrup" she said, and I kid you not: "High fructose corn syrup? This is garbage. You need to throw it away!" We all just kinda sat in silence for a split second while we realized that she was not kidding. She seriously had just told Bryant to throw away his Vegetable Crackers. Bryant, realizing how ridiculous this was, decided that he was going to follow through with her request to prove that what she asked was crazy and just plain wrong. That was a healthy box of Vegetable Crackers on the line! Murphy, caught in his own little Murph-world, only heard Bryant say: "You want me to throw it away? Alright then, I'm throwing it away!" Murphy was devastated at the loss of good food. He did not want Bryant to throw Vegetable Crackers away, because all food is sacred. He jumped up and started blocking the trash can from Bryant, and attempted to yank Vegetable Crackers out of Bryant's hand, to no avail. What proceeded was much shouting between the two, with Bryant exclaiming that since Miss Lady Friend didn't want Vegetable Crackers, then they should get thrown away (with much sarcasm of course), and Murphy protesting the demise of poor Vegetable Crackers. Let me tell you, it was a struggle. Imagine two boys fighting over food. Then imagine those same two boys fighting over food in a cramped Heritage kitchen, with a handful of other people looking on. It's still one of the most hilarious things I've seen to date. Anyway, Bryant's will remained strong, and the box of Vegetable Crackers ended up in the trash can. That, and I think Murph finally understood the lesson that Bryant was attempting to teach Lady Friend, so he allowed the lesson to be taught. Sir Robert and Lady Friend left shortly thereafter (I think it was too much excitement for their healthy bodies or something), and we all went about our business, relaying what had happened to any newcomer who stepped into the kitchen. The next day, when I sat down on the couch, in the table in front me, there was the poor, battered, and slightly beaten box of Vegetable Crackers.

Soon thereafter, it became an oft repeated, no, shouted, saying of ours. When we didn't like something? Throw it away! Piece of trash? Throw it away! Tired of doing homework? Throw it away! And as soon as one person said it, we all chimed in. It quickly became something that was always Overheard in Broadbent 23. 

AND......

And I'm off!

Tyler goes to the Crem de la Crem

As promised, here is Tyler's adventure to the creamery in a 2-part series.







This is really quotable so I hope to hear things like "Some people when they go shopping go on an empty stomach. And that, for the unprepared individual can be detrimental" around campus.
Carry on with your finals. All the cool kids still have one or two left.

Spoon it Up

The world needs to see this.

ohhhhh

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwww. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ahohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A New Spin on an Old Story

Happy Texting Bryant. (I wonder who it is?)

On the phone with mom Bryant

Facebooking Bryant

Productive Bryant

Gangsta Bryant