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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A new spin on an old story

Welp, I've been added to the blog, which makes all of my wildest dreams come true. Or something like that. My name is Monica. You may know me, you may not. I was that one girl in the background all the time:
(That's my knee)
I also spent a lot of time in good ole B23, so while that doesn't make me an expert on them, it makes me the next best thing: a good friend.
So why have I been added? Let's just say that there's a whole world of hilarity that we haven't even touched yet. There are so many stories that need to be preserved for future generations. So feel free to keep reading our B23 Short Stories. They will mostly be about these boys you know and love (or don't know, but still love). Bryant and I will also be updating y'all on how everyone is doing on their missions, as well as their current addresses. This will become more relevant as the time goes on and they all leave for the MTC (MTC entrance dates- Murph: June 6; Brett: June 20; Mike: July 5; and Rob: August 22; Tyler is already at the MTC and he is doing so well! Man, they grow up so fast!)
Ok, so I'm just gonna kick this right off with the retelling of a timeless tale: Throw it away!
There once was a time where Sir Robert brought over a Lady Friend on a date to the kitchen, while we were all there. Needless to say, there were some awkward moments, but we pushed through them! However, there was one thing that we couldn't push through: the fact that both Sir Robert and said Lady Friend do not appreciate the finer points in life. Namely, good food. Miss Lady Friend picked up a box of Bryant's Vegetable Crackers. Vegetable crackers are good for you, right? I mean, they're not cookies or anything like that. Well, Miss Lady Friend started reading off of the ingredients on the back of Bryant's innocent box of Vegetable Crackers, and when she reached "high fructose corn syrup" she said, and I kid you not: "High fructose corn syrup? This is garbage. You need to throw it away!" We all just kinda sat in silence for a split second while we realized that she was not kidding. She seriously had just told Bryant to throw away his Vegetable Crackers. Bryant, realizing how ridiculous this was, decided that he was going to follow through with her request to prove that what she asked was crazy and just plain wrong. That was a healthy box of Vegetable Crackers on the line! Murphy, caught in his own little Murph-world, only heard Bryant say: "You want me to throw it away? Alright then, I'm throwing it away!" Murphy was devastated at the loss of good food. He did not want Bryant to throw Vegetable Crackers away, because all food is sacred. He jumped up and started blocking the trash can from Bryant, and attempted to yank Vegetable Crackers out of Bryant's hand, to no avail. What proceeded was much shouting between the two, with Bryant exclaiming that since Miss Lady Friend didn't want Vegetable Crackers, then they should get thrown away (with much sarcasm of course), and Murphy protesting the demise of poor Vegetable Crackers. Let me tell you, it was a struggle. Imagine two boys fighting over food. Then imagine those same two boys fighting over food in a cramped Heritage kitchen, with a handful of other people looking on. It's still one of the most hilarious things I've seen to date. Anyway, Bryant's will remained strong, and the box of Vegetable Crackers ended up in the trash can. That, and I think Murph finally understood the lesson that Bryant was attempting to teach Lady Friend, so he allowed the lesson to be taught. Sir Robert and Lady Friend left shortly thereafter (I think it was too much excitement for their healthy bodies or something), and we all went about our business, relaying what had happened to any newcomer who stepped into the kitchen. The next day, when I sat down on the couch, in the table in front me, there was the poor, battered, and slightly beaten box of Vegetable Crackers.
Soon thereafter, it became an oft repeated, no, shouted, saying of ours. When we didn't like something? Throw it away! Piece of trash? Throw it away! Tired of doing homework? Throw it away! And as soon as one person said it, we all chimed in. It quickly became something that was always Overheard in Broadbent 23. 

3 comments:

  1. Ohhhhh that was so funny!!! I'm glad that story is now engraved in the historic account of B23. Welcome to the blog Monica.

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  2. That was GREAT!! I loved it!!! Oh Bry, always dependable for entertainment! (btw, nice tie-in with the title at the end!) :)

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  3. I think Monica is probably a better writer than any of us...

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